Oliver

Of both of my children Oliver is the most like me. So naturally I am harder on him, and look for the faults that are similar to mine...and worry. On the flip side his sense of humor, his smiling nature, mostly easy going (until enough is enough) and then it's a full blown ordeal. Reminds me of what makes me me...and I work harder at me. Instead of worrying so much about him, I look in the mirror, and work at my own flaws...

I love you Oliver.

The Milk'n McMillan

I took the boys to wheeler farm on Friday with a good friend of mine to discuss my job for the upcoming year. Isn't that great? Instead of sending me an email, we got together had a picnic and discussed how the budget has gone south, and the school I work at is cutting back...which means...yes you got it...actually I wasn't upset about it until the following Monday when I realized I would really miss my job. Really. I loved what I did there, I loved the community. I will still keep teaching privately, and enjoy that also. She also informed me that I had done such a great job, and that they are all sad to not see me there.

On our adventures at wheeler farm we met two cows...Dolly who was a pissy thing. She pooped all over, kicked her feet in disgust and glared at us with eyes that could have burnt a hole right through you. I can't say that I blame her though. They strap their legs together so that they can't move around.

The second cow walked out and her utters were secreting milk already. She was engorged. Every mother in the barn sighed, with empathy, I heard a few "ouch that is the worst" comments.

Aiden was last in line to milk the cow, so when he got up there to milk he really had to work, the lactation had really slowed down. And boy did he get a kick out of it, it was so hilarious. He started milking two at once with one hand, making circular patterns with the milk, all while saying..."I gotta keep it in the bucket."




Yup, that's our Milk'n McMillan...the boy who at one time only drank soy...

A rotten day that ended with this:

I laughed and I laughed, so loud that the librarians gave me a look...then they witnessed just how funny, and precocious my little curly haired boy is.

Tuacahn 2009

Tuacahan is a great time. There is sun, water, beaches, live entertainment, and children playing together with toy trucks. It's a great time. I really had a great time, as well as Ryan and the boys. The break, and type of vacation could not have come soon enough, and we loved seeing all of Ryan's family. Here are some photos.


But wait...Before one can enjoy any of these things...one must pass this house!

If my approximation is correct, we spent an entire day laughing about the numerous animals that live at this home.


Ollie racing.


One of my favorite people.



The great race...the trucks were a hit...with the older kids too.





The newest.


Four of the six grand kids on the wave runner.


Just one of many of our precious nephews.


Aiden in the tube.


Ryan wake boarding.


The line up of paparazzi taking pictures.

Balance/60 percent/selfishness.

I learned something about myself a long time ago. I strive for balance. Rarely will you hear me complain about something not being just right, or perfect. If a craft project turns out different than I expected, I will say that. However, If I finish it, the house is not destroyed, and I have done my work out and fed myself and my family I am uber content. That's just who I am. I also don't judge others if they have to find perfection in something...that's who they are, and I will gladly accept.

I recently read an article in self magazine by Jillian Michaels, a trainer from the biggest loser. She has a definition of selfishness that I would like to challenge. Not because I don't respect her, but rather, I think there are degrees of selfishness that are appropriate. Her opinion is that you put yourself always and then you have more to give. On the biggest loser show, they do 5 hours of cardio a day. I want to see if her opinion changes if she were to walk in my shoes for 6 months. Mostly, I think that she would be envious of my life. :) You see, Jillian doesn't even have a boyfriend...no one to even think about let alone give to. She claims to give so much to her trainees on the show...but gains a total of 20 pounds in the making of the show. The show takes 3 months to film. I gained 22 pounds in 9 months while pregnant with Aiden, I worked, took care of my home and husband and two pets. I am not glorifying myself, rather illustrating that her SELFSIHNESS stance has some discrepancies that I would love to sit down and chat with her about. Again, because I respect her, and found a lot of inspiration in the article to begin with.

When life is about a lot more than yourself you grow. When you learn to balance you, a family, a career, and your weight, that in my opinion is the real deal. I am not at the point of claiming to balance all of it...however I keep working, and won't ever give up. The life I am building has a lot more depth than how I look in a bikini, I know first hand that I am in good shape. If looking good in a bikini is someone else's goal, well, I will be there to cheer them on.

I have entered a contest to meet JILLIAN!!! I would love to talk with her, I would love to hear how she breaks people through their self issues around weight. I learned to put myself last. It was my survival skill. If someone else had needs I let them have it, that for me was easier than fighting. I now understand that I can do that without putting myself last. I have a whole different conversation happening in my brain. For me, it was never about weight. The weight was a consequence of some bad conversations of myself, and letting everyone else be more important. Actually I don't feel thin, and I never felt fat. I am just a happier person knowing that I CAN and WIll achieve my goals. I also want to ask her how one can manage eating on such a tight budget....I am sure she has an answer. And I want to hear it.

I think selfishness has variables.

The Brie

I have serious writer's block.

BUT I really like life right now. Somehow, I have learned some really good things...(I am completely aware of how I have learned them, I just don't know how to write it down right now.)

I am really proud of the choristers I worked with this year. I was their biggest fan, told them they would achieve...and I am grateful I didn't lie.

I don't resent anyone.

Our children are everything...

I am approaching the one year anniversary of my knee surgery. I will never forget it, or the first time to the gym after the recovery. I sat on a bench and bawled, and told myself that I would believe in me for a change. I listened to "Anyway" 5 times before I truly believed I could do it. I really wanted to give up. Instead, I vowed that every time I wanted to give up, I would get up and do some part of my therapy.

It's nice to have a spouse, and family who believes in me...but even better to believe in myself.

I am Elphaba. She is the only character I can say I understand. I have never been a princess, or a fairy. I can't relate. But boy do I cherish them!


My husband is my best friend, he is crazy about me...and I am not sure how I got so lucky.

Miracles...

They happen all the time, and God works through people to see that they happen on a regular basis. Now, I will pray hours upon end that the right physical therapist be in contact with my mom.

She will play the violin again.

Miracles happen, I believe because humans work for our creator. I am grateful to the neurologist who has found my mom, and is going to advocate for her.

I found someone who would advocate for me, and now I am running, biking and enjoying my new knee.

I will pray, and pray, and pray some more.